ABOUT RU

Date of birth: 06 March 1969

Height: 6 ft

Eyes: Blue

Favourite Film: Flash Gordon

Favourite TV Programme: Little Britain

Favourite Restaurant: Porters, Covent Garden

Favourite Label: Fred Perry / Ben Sherman

Favourite Food: English Breakfast

Favourite City: Norwich, Berlin, London

Favourite DJ: Andy Whitby, Paul Glazby, Cally Gage, Tom Basquil

Favourite Club: Tidy Weekenders, Menthol, Twist, Frantic

Loves: Hairy blokes; 4am on a good dancefloor; Lakeside Shopping Centre (for the Essex boys); tattoos; kebab; Berlin; The track "Love Is Like Oxygen" by Bus Face; Darude; My son James; The M6 Toll Road (how motorway driving should be... let the cheap bitches wait 6 hours in traffic jam and spend more money on fuel than they would have spent on the toll anyway); My Senseo coffee machine; Paying someone to do my ironing; Guestlists; Jamie.

Hates: Grumpiness; straight girls called Michelle on their first pill wearing boob-tubes who think that "all gays are lovely and can I be your new best friend?"; Rudeness; Bad customer service; DJs who are up their own arses; Bosnian windscreen-cleaners; British Airways; People who refuse to fly any airline other than BA; Quiche-queens; Ryanair; Heathrow Airport; Pushchairs on Oxford Street (why do you think your toddler would want to spend the day at arse-level in a dirty shopping street?!); Whitney Houston; George W. Bush; Gaydar profiles with no face pics; Gaydar profiles featuring nice photos of their nice cat or nice BMW; The word "nice"; Mothers doing the school run in their 4x4s with Phoebe and Sebastian in the back; Jehovahs Witnesses (I don't hate them per se, just the bastards who wake me up on a Sunday morning).